Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

The Strokes / Angles
Produced by Joe Chiccarelli & The Strokes
Released by Rough Trade
Clear Vinyl Record
Matrix: nothing of any importance

Before we start let's see how the professionals (tee he he) do it. Here's a review of The Strokes Angles LP courtesy of The Fly magazine.

Ok so I hope you've all stopped laughing now at the Led Zepplin reference, good, well let's crack on.

Under the Cover Version of Darkness

The Strokes are cheeky bastards! And if you don't realise that you're either a dim witted or you've never listen to more than one record before in your life. The Strokes may well have found it hard coming up with LP number 4. They may well have found it hard gleaning any kind of original inspiration amid mutual animosity, who truly knows, but what I know is that Angels is an album of cover versions. Not cover versions in the usual sense. This is not an album choc full of other band's songs. This is The Strokes covering the actual bands themselves.

That is the Angle used on Angles, it's the Strokes taking on all comers and attempting to be anyone other than The Strokes. In the same way The Beatles aped The Beach Boys on "Back in the USSR" and Fleetwood Mac on "Sun King" just not with the same degree of genius obviously. And as I said at the start if you don't realise this then you are either dim witted, have never listened to more than two records in your life, or you write reviews for The Fly - Or maybe all three.

Track 1: "Machu Picchu": No its' not Reggae, it's not even Punky Reggae or Post Punky Reggae. I guess at a stretch we could call it Indie Reggae but either way now we know what has happened to Gaz Coombes. Coz it's definitely Gaz singing at least the first verse of "Machu Picchu". Well Supergrass have folded and the Peugeot ads won't keep you fed forever so he had to do something. Joining The Strokes seems a good move. Even if for one verse. Casablancas is dropped around the start of the first chorus - it's a bit too slick but it's a good start.

Track 2: "Under Cover of Darkness" is the only track on the album where The Strokes are The Strokes which is lovely coz no one does The Strokes quite like The Strokes. And no one does The Strokes better than The Strokes not even The Killers. An unquestionably wonderful track worth the £10.99 price of the album alone - with more twists and turns than a Jack Higgins novel its classic Strokes.

Track 3: "Two Kinds of Happiness". Well if you hadn't realised this was coming you were obviously not alive in the eighties. One look at the electric yellow cover, the clear vinyl and day-glo inner should have told you that what we are about to receive is: The Cars. The Killers culled just about all their poptastic moments from parodying The Cars (in between parodying The Strokes obviously). But here The Strokes give it a go too here - big scale. (No surprise then that the real Cars are set to return in May). If you're unfamiliar with the slick & gaudy work of the eighties pop hair dos known as The Cars - "My Best Friend's Girl" / "Just What I Needed" etc don't worry because for the non aural minded or for the sceptical ones who doubt our comparisons here's a pic just to ram the point home. One from the "Angles" inset one from the inset of The Cars greatest hits. Yeah I could hardly believe it - truly uncanny.

Track 4 "You're So Right". Now The Strokes really enter cheeky bastard territory. "You're So Right" isn't a nod of respect in the direction of Radiohead. It runs straight past nodding respect, overtakes parody with speed and runs head long into pastiche. Yes The Strokes have got more brass neck than a bleeding Giraffe. But even though "You're So Right" is "Radiohead silly" it at least got more vitality and energy than anything on "The King of Limbs". Track playing now>

Track 5 Ok so "Taken for a Fool" isn't the full quota it's just a hybrid, part Strokes part Red Hot Chili Peppers. Casablancas sings "I know everyone goes any damn place they like. I hope this goes over well, on the toxic radio" using the same sing song nursery rhyme refrain that Kiedis has been flogging for years. We wait for 20 seconds of rap but thankfully it doesn't come - but the ghetto gets a mention, so all is well.

Turn the record over here. Cough, continue.

Track 6 "Games" now this is a difficult one to call. It is all eighties, 100% naff and absolutely horrid. The keyboard sounds are particularly obscene, bilge from the likes Nick Kershaw or Howard Jones. "Games" makes you run with horror back into the arms of "Is This it", "Room on Fire" and "First Impressions of Earth" just to make sure it wasn't all a dream. Is this The Strokes was it The Clash on "Cut the Crap"?

Track 7 The nightmare continues with "Call Me Back" which kills two birds with one stone here. Its part Maroon 5 (I'm suddenly feeling very sick) and part Killers, but total cheese, and pretty f**cking horrible cheese to boot.

Track 8 "Gratisfaction" breaks the piss poor run. Decent title, decent track, the verses are delivered as free and as easy and as slick as Phil Lynott in his pomp (see the Fly did get one thing right). And the chorus comes courtesy of a Reinhold Mack master class in production.

Track 9 "Metabolism" brings us right back to cheeky bastard territory again. Tonight Matthew The Strokes are going to be MUSE. The title "Metabolism" itself is a super massive piss take too, the track could have easily slipped off "Absolution". Deadpan disembodied vocals are driven on by the bass building to a Matt Bellamy-esque wail.
"I wanna be somebody, wanna be somebody like you. Like you. Like you. Like you instead of me".

And finally to finish Track 10 "Life Is Simple in the Moonlight" - an over produced trite piece of musical pap.

So the prognosis is not good. Overall "Angles" is one of those LPs I'll no doubt be putting right at the back of the stack. In the category of bare faced cheek and pastiche it scores high but other than that, well no. If you've hadn't heard of The Strokes prior to "Angles" the Lord alone knows what you'll think of The Strokes. Probably - "What's all the fuss was about?"

Basically if I advised anyone to buy "Angles" before buying "Is this it", "Room on Fire" or "First Impressions of Earth" I'd expect to be punched to the ground and spat on by who'd taken my piss poor advice. "Angles" is not an album it's simply a collection of disparate tracks by a band trying desperately trying to be anyone other than The Strokes. A handful of the songs pass mustard, and "Under Cover of Darkness" does enough to fool you into thinking that down deep in the dark recesses there is still the merest spark of something smouldering in the heart of The Strokes, but really "Angles" says one thing and one thing only: "Thanks for the memories la la la laaa".



unedited shit