Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

The F Word
By Professor John Bigot

Ok so we're not talking about Gordon Ramsey here, the chef geezer who's in the Guinness Book of Records for having the most serrated face in the history of humankind. Oh no, we're talking about the word that's spelt F. U. C. K. A word that is sprinkled so LIBERALLY throughout my record collection I thought it would be PLEASANT to share with you ten of my favourite songs from the planet F.

FUCK as we are all aware is multi functional word that can be used to express much, much more than its simple act of copulation. There have been artists like Ian Dury and Nick Cave that have spayed the F word machine gun like throughout there work. There are those like Morrissey and strangely The Damned that have never or seldom uttered this particular profanity on record (please correct me if I'm wrong usual fees apply).

When it comes to the everyday usage of the F word I think our colonial cousins across the pond have the drop on us, they seem to have a FUCK for every occasion. My favourite is when it is used as an absolute negative. An American can say NO and still you could possibly believe that his decision may not be final, but when he or particularly she says FUCK NO then we know that no is unequivocal no.

So it's the multifarious use of the F word that aided my selection. I'm not going to bore you with the individual subject matter of these songs, just buy them stick them on a tape (or whatever you stick them on nowadays) and enjoy - they'll make you feel slightly naughty and in my case thirty years younger.

Attention seeking.
10. The Electric Chairs - FUCK OFF!
From the larynx of Wayne County the American transgender front person of the Electric Chairs - more RNR/RNB than punk, but it's in, just! "Blatantly Offensive" (EP) '78. Listen to Jools Holland play
(Click to hear)

Apologetic.
9. Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk to Fuck.
We've all been there but it hasn't stopped us trying sound effects integral. Part 1 of a DK brace of FUCKS. Single No.4 '81.
(click to be sick)

Frustrated.
8. Ian Dury & The Music Students
- FUCK OFF NODDY!
From the lips of the repeatedly foul mouthed Essex boy who got talked out of releasing this on his "4,000 Weeks' Holiday" album in '84. Would he have got his ass sued big time by the Blyton Estate, probably! "Fuck of Noddy you stupid prat, fuck off Noddy with your rotten hat" sung to the tune of "Nice one Cyril, nice one son, nice one Cyril let's have another one" if you don't know it - you haven't lived. Keats it ain't but let's face that intensely annoying, Tory loving, goody goody, silver sixpence hording, police loving Soddy needed telling.
(Click to listen)

Violent.
7. Glasvegas - Go Square Go.
"Here we, here we, here we fucking go!" Fist flying, football chanting, rabble rousing, vitriolic Galsvegas magic. Single 2006 WaKS label.
(click for a fight)


Misogynistic plea.
6. Bring on the Nubiles - The Stranglers.
Hugh Cornwell went on record to say "Let Me, Let Me Fuck You Fuck You" could, would and possibly should have been "Let Me, Let Me, Love You Love You" but things went a little too far. Yep sure they did. "No More Heroes" album '77.
(click to play)


Dysfunctional.
5. The Downside of Being a Fuck Up - Wreckless Eric & Amy Rigby.
Pent up self deprecating frustration - no one does it better than Eric - if you can't empathise with this one get a humility check. From the glorious "Wreckless Eric And Amy Rigby" album 2008.
(click to break)


Comic.
4. It Takes a Worried Man - Devo.
A single use of "Fucked UP" beautifully smashes this simple extremely commercial sing a long ditty - joyous people joyous. From the movie "Human Highway" - recorded in '79. Found on "Pioneers Who Got Scalped" 2000.
(Click to enjoy)

Insanity.
3. Bodies - The Sex Pistols.
Fuck this and fuck that fucking it all and fuck the fucking brat. Abortion & madness, the marriage of subject matter was perfect from the start. In '77 just to know this record was at home waiting for me screaming out to be played was enough to get me through the mind deadening days at school. "Never Mind The Bollocks" album '77.
(prick here to hear)

Nihilistic.
2. Fuck Forever - Babyshambles
The biggest commercial FUCK of them all, reaching No.4 in the UK chart. Resignation, inadequacy, hopelessness and the big blank - NO FUTURE writ large. 2005 Single.
(Stick one here to hear)

The daddy.
1. Dead Kennedys
Nazi Punks Fuck Off.
Short, sweet and succinct, probably the greatest twentieth century poem written in the American language. From the "In God we Trust" EP '81. Martin Hannett gets a good telling off too - generally rather than particularly - I think.
(every click a Nazi dies)