Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

The Last Record Shops of England (Part 2)
(Record Store Day)

The Polar Bear,10 York Road, Kings Heath, Birmingham, B14 7RZ.

Yes it's that time again; time for the all America novelty that is Record Store Day, or as we say in the OLD COUNTRY, Record Shop Day.

In reality though for many folk like myself we don't need an excuse to go to a record shop, it's what we do, and relationship wise, let me tell you, it can be mightily beneficial. While I'm out and about frequenting the The Last Records Shops of England my wife is able to carry on her torrid affair with a guy from Allied Carpets in the quiet surroundings of her own home, you see everyone wins.

So this year I'm off to The Polar Bear in Kings Heath, which is just off the Kings Heath High Street; a well aimed gob away from the internationally renowned music venue and Garden Centre known as The Kitchen Garden Café; and a mere drunken stumble away from Friendly Fire HQ, AKA the Hare & Hounds Pub.

It was 8.55am when I arrived (the shop was due to open at 9.30) and already there was a group of 40 wonderfully diverse expectant people waiting outside. Mixed in with these wonderful expectant men, women and children there was also probably two or three f**kin low life bastards, but more of that later. The local inhabitants of Kings Heath were bemused at the fuss, they stared at us with dull uncomprehending brummie eyes. Standing there in the queue I felt like there should be a ticket tout walking up and down saying "I'll buy and sell any tickets, buy and sell any tickets; got any spares mate?" But no, the geezer in the shop over the road bedecked in his brilliant white kufti just eyed us suspiciously and put out his carpets. The rest of the shops on the parade also began to awake. The Sports Shop shutters opened in slow mo to let in the gold & azure morn, and the dude at the retro clothes shop (Top Banana) set his pork pie hat slightly askew (as it should be) and flipped his sign over from Closed to Open. Soon enough The Polar Bear did likewise, it was 9.25 am.

One of the first "in" the shop was a Blur fan who'd started queuing at 7 o'clock and so was able to buy one of the two Blur singles that the shop had to offer. Now I think nothing whatsoever of Blur or their music (Graham Coxon and several of his solo albums aside), and (other than my one nephew, who I tell to shut up whenever he starts talking about Blur) I have a general ignorance of what a real dedicated Blur fan is like. But this girl had cycled across the city, sat outside the shop for 2 hours and 25 minutes in the freezing cold, just to get the bit of vinyl she wanted. Now she was cock a hoop (whatever that means) and off home to enjoy it. Record Store Day a beautiful thing? ...........Yes?..................YES!

But for me there was another thirty minutes to wait. So what had I come for? Well I'd come for the crack really, just to be amongst passionate people who wanted to buy that Flaming Lips record, or that Stones single, or that............... yeah ok you smelt it - bullshit! What I wanted was the Babyshambles "Side of the Road" single and the "Mercy Seat" 12 inch by Nick Cave. But there'd been 40 odd folk in front of me buying like fury and now that I was finally in the shop and next but one to be served I could hear the guys running through what records they had left, and there was no mention of Cave or Shambles.

So there I stood "with a doughnut for a brain" like a "spare prick at a wedding" waiting for the ultimate embarrassment, to go home with the words "Ed you leave with nothing" ringing in my ears. But then something wonderful happened, God the ever living, God the ever loving, decided to shine his gentle light upon the bald head of this poor foul sinner. Squeezing through the open door past the queuing multitude, came PAT (minus his black and white CAT) carrying two large 12" shaped boxes. The boxes were gratefully accepted by the Polar Bear guys, set down on the floor and opened. "What you got now" said the guy in front of me. "Er we've got Blah Blah, Yadda Yadda, Nick Cave, Hoo Ha, Swinger Linger and Babyshambles" he replied. Inwardly I shouted FUCKIN A! Outwardly I handed over my KA$H and absconded from the shop as quickly as shit off a shovel, over the road to the internationally renowned music venue The Kitchen Garden Café. Once there I treated myself to the strongest damn cup of coffee my money could buy and checked over my vinyl booty. It was a wonderful day to be alive.

That done I had a quick shuffty at Top Banana (the hat was still good) and then set off for Kidderminster, and "Mister T's" - but that's a story for another day children.

NB: Please remember The Polar Bear is not just for Record Store Day it's for life - it's a damn good shop - go there!

So let's pause for a moment to remember the high.

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OK here comes the DOWNER!

Now there are not enough expletives in the world for me to let you know what I think about the low life scum who came out on Record Store Day just to buy up records, and then sell them on Ebay later. By Saturday evening Ebay was flooded with stuff, the Blur singles were being sold for £170.00! They were £7 in the shops. Now luckily I can't even begin to understand the mindset of these people, but I bet they're the same sort of wankers who after ripping people off went down the pub to moan about politicians and expenses, and bankers and bonuses. Comrades unless we finally smash & topple the whole of the worldwide capitalist Babylon system this sort of scabby usury is always going to happen. But is this what Record Store Day was intended for? And is this how Blur wanted their new music to be disseminated? I don't know! All I know is if you don't support your Record Shops this is what will happen:

TEMPEST RECORDS RIP APRIL 2010

Gone but not forgotten!