Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

Mr Pedro Doddery one quarter of the ground breaking beat rock combo "Pedro Carlos and the Babyshambeleroes" was today in court in one of the most backward backwaters in merry old England. He stood accused on several charges that included "conducting himself in a free and easy way in a built up area between the hours of darkness" which is still a hanging offence in backwater Britain. In court prosecutor Dr Foster chided Doddery for his "erratic sharp turn" (in musical style) and backed up his assertion by playing brief extracts from his Shambeleroes LP "Shooters Nation" and then compared it to his work on his solo "Gracelands" album. Mr Doddery was found guilty of all charges. After passing sentence Pedro was allowed to read a short statement which he directed in a sing song fashion directly at the presiding Judge. He said:

Now tell me what can you want now you've got it all
The whole scene is obscene
Time will strip it away
A year and a day
And Bill Bones
Bill Bones knows what I mean

The Judge replied "Never in all my life have I heard such cock" and instructed the ushers to take Mr Doddery down. To this Pedro replied "If its cock you want your Honor I'll give you cock!" He then whipped out his member of parliament and waved it in a defiant manner before the assembled court room; he was led away from the court room by two of Britain's finest lickspittles (see pic below).

After the trial Mr Doddery faced a drug quiz.
HOAP SOAR can exclusively reveal the questions Pedro was asked and the answers he gave.

1.
Q/ Do you know what crack is?
A/ Is it a bit of jolly Irish banter?

2.
Q/ Have you heard of crystal meth?
A/ Yes it's an ingredient used in several cocktails such as the Grasshopper and the Stinger.

3.
Q/ What are your experiences of cold turkey?
A/ Well that's not easy, I've tried to block out my past experiences of cold turkey, can you ask me this one again in a weeks time.

Laugh we almost started.
The law is an ass, apparently.