Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

MUSE, The Den, Teignmouth, Devon, 5th September 2009.

The Prologue
So far in 2009 we've seen Morrissey in Manchester for his 50th, Magazine in Manchester after 30 years away, and Madness in Camden Town - each to playing live to their home town crowd. Now it's the turn of M number 4 the mighty Muse returning to their home of Teignmouth for two nights at The Den.

Now I've been a music punter for over thirty years and I've never been to a gig in Teignmouth before, I've gotten pretty close, I've made it to The Exeter Phoenix a few times, but I thought as far as venues were concerned that was the end of the road. How wrong I was. On my maiden voyage to Teignmouth I'm not alone my two kids are in the car already, and ready to. "Where did you two get your tickets from?" I ask. "Wait until you get your credit card bill then you'll find out" They replied. So with "Itinerant Child" by Ian Dury and the Blockheads blaring out of the cd player I pointed the our vehicle south… "and away I went, it's a right old banger and the chassis bent, it's got a great big peace sign across the back, and most of the windows have been painted black, the windshields cracked, its a bugger to drive, it starts making smoke over forty-five, its a psychedelic nightmare with a million leaks, its home-sweet-home to some sweet arse freaks".

I spent most of the trip down to Teignmouth telling my kids that we'll probably be stuck in a super massive traffic jam stretching from Exeter to Teignmouth, that we'll have to park the car in a sodden water logged field, that we'll probably have to walk for an hour and a half from there to the gig, that we'll have to queue for several hours at the venue, that we'll be let in late and probably get pushed over in the scrum, that we'll loose each other in the venue, that we'll be pick pocketed and loose all our KA$H and that we'll be food poisoned by Mr Sizzle's cuisine. And finally after all this we'll probably be individually pulled over the barrier unconscious from dehydration just prior to Muse coming on stage and so miss the whole show. The prospect of all this occurring fills them with an unbridled enthusiasm to get there. Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet…..

But in reality we breezed into Teignmouth, parked up perfectly, strolled into town, checked out the second hand record shop in the main street, and the vinyl rack at Oxfam, before a quick stroll along the prom prom prom. "Is that sand natural?" They asked. "Nah it can't be they must get it delivered every Thursday week". It was like a British Summers day. We ate our sandwiches in the drizzle whilst admiring the famous Teignmouth pier. How many nefarious liaisons has that old erection seen in its life?

The gates were opened early and we ambled into the venue in a most dignified, civilised, and dare I say it, British manner. My kids immediately pegged it across the Den and glued themselves to the barrier - I pointed to the integral park benches ten yards back and put a sad and forlorn expression on my old face, it was easy, but nothing doing, the barrier it was.

The Den at Teignmouth is a park, cum green space, cum hoe, cum open space, sandwiched between impressive three and four story mock and pukka Georgian town houses on one side, and the promenade and sea the other. They've had bands play here before, but this is different this is Muse. Yes it was all beautiful and very dignified. Everybody was in the finest humour and ready for some splendid music. OK so there's always some tosser that has to ruin it. Oh shit here's Zane Lowe!

Zane Lowe.
To be fair and I don't know why I should. But after all Zane Lowe is not a child molester or serial killer or an intrinsically evil person, so I suppose I shouldn't really hate him with an encompassing loathing? Or should I? Should I perhaps feel extremely sorry for him because he is in essence a totally misguided man. He believes (I think), or perhaps he doesn't believe ah I don't care. Anyway what he does and what he did at the Den was play (the classic tracks - supposedly) by Franz Ferdinand, Kasabian, The Sex Pistols, Nirvana, Oasis and the like, which is slightly commendable. And alongside these tracks he played his usual mix of unrelated dance music, on top of each he played an air raid siren (wow), and a police siren (ahh). The reason for playing these noises over the music thankfully eludes me. All I can say is that I think that if Noel Gallagher wanted a siren blurting out over "Wonderwall" he'd have put one there in the first place. Zane Lowe shouted out "Resistance" (a lot) and gesticulated and pointed (quite a lot too). To be fair I think that might be where his true vocation lies. The tragic silliness of Mr Lowe however is that somehow he believes (and there's no deceiver like a self deceiver) that what he does is better than just playing the CLASSIC TRACKS as they were intended to be played. No I'm sorry Zane I've got news for you, you are of no importance, it's the music that is important and you quite frankly lend nothing to it. In fact what you do to the music is nothing short of defecating on it - please "cease and desist, cease and desist, for God sake shut up!" I did shout this out several times, my kids just put their fingers up to their lips and motioned towards the park benches. I shut up. I know if I ignore Zane Lowe he will eventually go away but I've been waiting too long already!

The Sea.
Somewhere behind the grey clouds the sun had decided to give up the ghost for the day and the light began to wane. "The Sea" strode out onto the stage, took charge and set about their work with considerable gusto.

The two brothers' Peter and Alex Chisholm armed with only guitar and drums played a no nonsense rough and raucous riff driven rock n blues for twenty minutes or so. And got the gathered majority oscillating nicely - someone get these guts on tour with the likes of The Kills for f*cks sake. Of course if you're looking for a problem, then there one problem with The Sea. And that is they sound on the surface anyway like an English version of The White Stripes and that is quite a big shadow to be standing in. But is it a problem? Not for me isn't. The Sea with fists thumping and guitar wailing were a breath of fresh air, the simplicity and immediacy of "Love Love Love" was what stuck in our heads, go listen.

Then did I tune out? Or did someone play the Stummer card. I dunno but whilst I slept "Hey Molly" played and seemed to go down pretty well.

Crap on a crud! Then there was another helping of the hapless Mr Lowe - he shouted "Resistance" a lot - again! He used his air raid siren sample again! And he used his police siren again! I went inside myself I tried to "hide on the promenade. How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here. Come Armageddon come, come, come Nuclear bomb!" Somehow Morrissey and I were able to erase the second helping of silliness from Mr Lowe.

Finally the cameramen put on their gloves and the light from the helicopter held steady in the tar black night sky. A geezer in full ring master garb entered stage left and hailed forth the mighty MUSE. "The Resistance" is here.

On July 17th 2006 a week before the release of "Black Holes and Revelations" I was in Arras at the Grand Square to see Muse kick things off with "Knights of Cydonia". At the Den a week before the release of "The Resistance" Muse kicked things off with track one from the new LP "Uprising". Surely a permanent fixture in the repertoire from this day forth - an ideal overture soundscape to the l'oeuvre of Muse. Everything is thrown into the mix, there's a nod to Delia Derbyshire and a wink in the direction 70's glam. There's conspiracy theories and confusion in the lyrics. Euro electronica and pomp rock in the music. Two from BH&R next "Map of the Problematique" and "Supermassive Black Hole".

Then camera boom swung swiftly over our heads to seek out Matt Bellamy seated at the piano for the eponymous track two, "Resistance". Led by a piano riff and underpinned by probably the best of Dominic Howard's exemplary drumming, musically "Resistance" twists, turns and meanders and twist and turns again. Orwell is in there with Winston, Julia and a love that shall not be named.

"Hysteria" and "New Born" were then belted out to the bouncing mass of Muse faithful, to the people on their Georgian balconies, standing on the park benches, on the roof tops, on the pier, in fact on every vantage point available.

Anthony Newley's "Feeling Good" calmly followed and was performed with a breathtaking pinpoint accuracy.

And so to track four and "United States of Eurasia" Matt, Muse and the mercurial musical magpies are at work again.

A gentle piano preamble led to an explosive ambush, and what an explosive ambush! A quintessentially Queen explosive ambush! Yes Muse have had moments of Queeness before but this one truly leaves you agog and questioning. "Did I hear that right, did they really just do that?" Some might say it's a down right cheek, some might say that imitation is the highest form of flattery. Either way, as far as Muse and their musical light fingers are concerned it's always best to smile and go with it, because "United States of Eurasia" with its eastern strings and chanting crescendo is a wonderful slice of pomp and circumstance.

And then from way back when they played "Cave" wow - I immediately spoke into my imaginary Dictaphone "note to self dig out CAVE EP and stick it on ebay tomorrow" - it's a joke for Gods sake! And after the sublime came the…….well the ridiculous!

Matt Bellamy told us of the time when he used to go to the local Teignmouth Rollerdisco and listen to the seventies disco ditty "Popcorn". And before you could say "what the f….." they launched into a guitar version of "Popcorn". And somehow they pulled it off whilst still retaining a modicum of credibility. Are you listening Radiohead you over burdensome po faced worthy lot?

"Starlight" next, from somewhere behind the stage Chinese lanterns rose up one after another, straight as arrows into the night sky, nice.

"Undisclosed Desires" track three from "The Resistance" and an instant and obvious candidate for a single release. Euro beat writ large, Depeche Mode writ large-esque with perhaps a smidgeon of Aha ici. Chris Wolstenholme's bass strings were hammered and pulled until they growled beneath Bellamy's tale of unrequited love. But what was that guitar keyboard hybrid thingy that Bellamy way playing? In your face Jan Hammer! "Time Is Running Out" to "Unnatural Selection" half incendiary half portent of evil track six of "The Resistance" which burst forth sounding like it could have come straight off the pages of "Symmetry".

And that was it as far as the new stuff was concerned. "Stockholm Syndrome" and the "Plug In Baby" followed and then goodnight. A moment passed then Chris Wolstenholme returned with a Rickenbacker hanging from his neck and a harp to his lips for Ennio Morricone's "The Man with a Harmonica" used as a natural melodramatic crescendo to herald forth the "Knights of Cydonia"
[The Harmonica man in question was of course Charles Bronson in Sergio Leone's spaghetti western "Once upon a Time in the West" a movie in which Henry Fonda played a rather unpleasant man to say the least - this did not go down well with the US public at the time they didn't realise their beloved Henry Fonda was and always had been an actor. Some thought that Fonda would some day run for US president - it wasn't to be - but with a devilish toss of Satan's coin America did eventually get an actor president.
Of course this is not the first time this iconic Morricone piece has been used in popular parlance, the Hard-fi boys used it as a stage intro when last I saw them playing live on their "Once upon a time in the West" tour - well they would wouldn't they]

"Knights of Cydonia" was given a right old fashioned rollocking and the final bars were backed up with some pyrotechnical smoke and fury, and so Muse's work was done.

We had a short ramble back to our car, which we found straight away since we'd parked it directly beneath a floodlight. Then we were able to make an exceptionally quick escape from the firm soil of the field and so from Teignmouth itself. How good was the planning and arrangements for these concerts - exemplary absolutely exemplary. Same again next year then!

Saturday 12th am. A week has passed and I've just finished writing the drivel that you have just skimmed through - thanks. The door bell rings, its John John my real full time postie. "Hi John John what have you got for me?" "I think I've got something from Muse for you Ed, could it be their new album?" "Well it could be John John but it's not released until Monday so lets see" Quickly I open the packet. "Yes John John it's "The Resistance". "Did you know John John that Matt Bellamy has written a classical symphony type thing called Exogenesis on this album" "Yes I did Ed, do you think it will be any good, I mean I hope its not going to be like those horrid musical adventures David Bowie used to have on side two of his Low and Heroes albums". "Well there's only one way to find out John John and that's give it a play" "Can I borrow your copy Ed?" "Sorry John John you know how these things work you bring me my post, you get paid unhandsomely for the honour and then I slam the door in your face". "Bye then Ed" "Yes bye John John see you on Monday" Slam!

Saturday 12th pm - So as far as "The Resistance" is concerned what did Muse leave undone from at the Den last week? Well first off an extra bit of track four "United States of Eurasia". The main piece segues into an interlude entitled (collateral damage) or Chopin's "Nocturne" with cross fade & sound effects to add menace to the beauty. This in turn leads to the guitar driven track five "Guiding Light" which is heralded in by Howard's drums beating out Ultravox's Vienna - only with the amplification increased by several million decibels. Track seven "Mk Ultra" follows on in a similar vein to the preceding "Unnatural Selection" retaining the same mood and musical mind set of Muse past.

And just as you think you know what they're about, they bowl us the wrong one track eight "I Belong to You" - undeniably a bizarre confection and definitely the hardest button to button on "The Resistance". There's a soupcon of Saint Saens, a whole deal of rinky dinky piano, a clarinet solo, some French operetta. Quirky, quirky, quirk, quirk - in the extreme - I love it.

And finally we arrive at the "Exogenesis Symphony Part one" track nine an intro of undulating distressed strings before Bellamy lets loose a barrage of questions - When? - Why? - Who? But his words are purposely lost in the musical wash and his voice is tremulous in the turbulence and uncertainty of sound created by the orchestra and Wolstenholme and Howard. "Exogenesis part two" track ten starts and concludes with Bellamy on piano in Rachmaninoff mode. The central sung section offers up the plea "You must save us all" but is anyone out there? Finally reconciliation and atonement is sought in track eleven "Exogenesis part three". The ambient soundscape moves seamlessly from the piano sonata's of Beethoven to the likes of "Chi Mai" by Ennio Morricone. It's a perfect all pervading onslaught on the musical senses to conclude "The Resistance". Even when set alongside Muse's previous albums "The Resistance" is a heady confection, a superabundant mishmash of musical mesmerism.

So what next for Muse? Perhaps Muse at the Proms? Wait a minute with all this listening and writing and writing and listening its gone eleven and I've missed the bloody last night!

Final requests
I know you readers of HOAP SOAR have heard this one many times before, but we don't care we're going to keep on requesting it until they do it. Muse - let's have a cover of "Calling occupants of interplanetary craft" a Klaatu track covered by The Carpenters for World Contact Day! And at the same time why not do a cover of "Hallow to our Men" by The Stranglers from their "Meninblack" album. Sell us a copy when you're done - cheers.