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News March 2010 Friends & Enemies
The 28th March, the last Sunday of the month and time for me to drag myself out of my pastoral backwater and back to my ancestral home of WOLVERHAMPERTON. For why? For the monthly meet up with my fanzine cohort John Bigot that's what. After a tea, no coffee in the flat as usual, we set about discussing last month's news.
JB: "In times of great struggle we must sometimes align ourselves with our former enemies"
ED: "Who said that then, John?"
JB: "I just did you twat."
ED: "Oh right. Well what then?"
JB: "Pink Floyd! They've been attempting to stop EMI from smashing up their albums and flogging them off piece meal as downloads. Nice to find that there is still some sense left in the world, even if it's only coming from our natural enemy Pink Floyd".
ED: "Yeah you say they're our natural enemy John but at the end of the day that drummer boy Nick Mason did produce the first UK Punk album (Damned Damned Damned) and then coincidently he produced the Damned's 2nd album and all; and if "Another Brick in the Wall" isn't lyrically a punk song I don't know what is".
JB: Look there is no way I'm going to say we're in league with Pink Floyd. The album is the natural canvas of the musician, and it's good know that at least they realise this, but that is as far as our kinship goes. One day all the evil doers will realise that the album was where it was at, but it will be too late for them, for they will be forced to spend the whole of eternity burning in the molten fires of hell.
ED: Right, thanks John, moving on……
ED: Did you watch Jo (how do you pronounce her name again) Willey on Panorama the other night? Yes you know Panorama the programme that once the cerebral, cutting edge investigative power house of the BBC, but now is presented by a short and shouty DJ in extreme close up.
JB: No I didn't see it, I was down the Newhampton.
ED: Well Willey (oh there's a silent H is there) was certainly able to bring a bit of intellectual gravitas to the programme as she investigated the proposed new laws to crack down on illegal downloads. NB: There will be a great deal of sarcasm in this piece but you'll just have to find it for yourself.
The whole programme was hilarious John, you missed a treat. First off the premise of having Jo Willey talking about illegal downloads is strange in the extreme, everything that Jo Willey has done in her career has helped to perpetuate the mindless and morally bankrupt occupation of illegally downloading. During the Panorama programme her dullard approach to music selection came through. She said to one of the kids who'd been downloading stuff illegally "I can see you've been downloading a lot of the stuff by new bands; by the sort of new bands I love". This is how Jo Willey selects music, purely on the grounds of it being "new" or by a "new band". It doesn't matter if the band is without talent or are producing disposable crap as long they're "new". It's this sort of "must have it now - can bin it if I don't like later" approach to music which is exactly the mindless mindset of the illegal downloader. Just like Willey these people have no discernment, no individual taste, no respect for musicians, no coherent approach to music selection. It's just a case of rob and rob again, gorge upon it, shit out and look for something "NEW".
Anyway the Panorama programme focussed mainly on the new laws that some government - may at sometime - could possibly - try to implement even though - it would be impossible for the said government whoever they are - to enforce the laws - and so - probably - the whole thing is just a load of bollocks! Great premise for a show though! No conclusions were reached but some middle class folk got pretty worried at the prospect of getting their broadband tampered with; if they were found to be downloading stuff illegally - oooh the end of civilisation as we know it. Billy Bragg got to have a moan and promote himself for free; and the Liberal twats on planet BBC got to say civil liberties several times. But Willey and the Panorama programme missed the point by a country mile; some people will always rob stuff, even on pain of death, it's not them that's the problem it's the download medium itself that is inherently evil. For too long now we've been going down completely the wrong track; the digital & internet thing was no ones fault (aye ?) but for me whether the download is legal or not is not what matters here, the download is quite simply a bogus format, it cheapens music whether the music is exceptional or unnecessary, branding all music as a transitory and disposable commodity.
At the end of the day the choice is clear and simple. You can choose to rob every track the Smiths ever recorded off the internet for jack shit, and stick them on a drive somewhere. Or you can go out like I did many moons ago and buy "Meat is Murder" on vinyl and be able to remember the shop you bought it from, the friends you were with at the time, the mad geezer in the shop who sold it you, the fact that it pissed down on the way home and that the sleeve got soaked whilst you were waiting for the bus. You can remember what you thought when you first stuck the needle into the groove and the sound of "The Headmaster Ritual" came blaring out of the speakers filling the room as you took a long pull on your B&H. Finally 25 years later you can go and pick up that album which is a part of musical history, and realise it is also part of your life too. This choice is yours. You can choose to live for one day, free, out in the fresh air with the warmth of the summer sun on your skin. Or you can choose to live for a whole week in a metal box buried underground.
JB: Ahhhhh the good old BBC, programmes made by liberal middle class fascists for liberal middle class fascists. You do realise Ed the BBC is essentially an organisation that stands shoulder to shoulder in a swimming pool; they all piss in it, they all drink from it, and then they tell each other how wonderful it tastes. The sooner the licence fee is whipped off them the better.
ED: Yes. Did you sign the petition to save BBC6 John?
JB: Sure did.
ED: Me too.