Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

LIVEMUSIC.FM
an online company which helps music fans find the best local concerts and the cheapest tickets online.

I was with my analyst today. It was my last appointment. Most of the 4 hour session was taken up with us tying up loose ends; vis-a-vis my paranoid persecution complex and issues pertaining to my inability to cope with any aspect of life "in the present". If you remember this all came about due to the episode in One Stop when I had a major falling out with the Heinz BIG SOUP area - which then spilled over into the pasta sauces and then into most of the tinned dry goods aisle. The signage at One Stop is still, as far as I'm concerned, grossly misleading and inappropriate. Anyway I'm here again, it's a condition. As usual Ms M waited until nearly going home time to get me backed into a corner. "Whilst trying to remain calm Ed" she said. "Can you describe to me exactly what you mean when you say you're living in the age of the idiot, because this phrase keeps recurring in our conversations?"

"Well that's an easy one Doc; I can tell you exactly what I mean". I said. "We're surrounded by information, its' wanging at us from all angles; Interweb, BBC, Newspapers, SKY, voices from behind the curtains, Radio, billboards, People's Friend, Readers Digest, bloke on bus. And is it reliable? Is it F**k! Everything is unreliable Doc - everything! Take for example them TICKET SELLING WEB SITES. They're the worst. It's enough to make to make a clean cat want to piss on her own kittens!"

She cut me dead here in mid breathe, swiftly thrusting her left hand in the air in right wing type salute. I stopped. She muttered, writing frantically. "He thinks everything is unreliable. - He feels like a clean cat. - He wants to piss on kittens". Then she waved me on. "Right then, OK, we're making progress here Ed, Ticket Selling Web Sites tell me about these but please, calmly.........calmly."

"Well, as you know I'm due to spend a few days in London next month - I'm visiting the FREUD MUSEUM as you recommended Doc (This is bollo, but first rule when being tortured is to ingratiate yourself with the torturer) - and I wanted to check out what gigs were on whilst I was down there. I shoved some dates into the TWEEDLE search engine and soon found myself on the LIVEMUSIC.FM site. LIVEMUSIC.FM is, in their own blurb an online company which helps music fans find the best local concerts and the cheapest tickets online.

Yeah I know Doc, it does sound a load of cock, but whilst I was on their site I noticed that the band PROPAGANDA were playing at Islington Academy on the 5th of August. Do you remember PROPAGANDA Doc? They were a GERMAN combo from the eighties. Described as the NEW ABBA by someone. They eventually signed with ZTT Records. The lead singer of PROPAGANDA was Claudia Bruken. She married Paul Morley the obtuse Mancunian Fanzine writer. I think Paul Morley was the journo who described PROPAGANDA as the new ABBA. And he was also a co owner of ZTT records. But anyway all that doesn't matter now.

Because I was (slightly) interested that PROPAGANDA had reformed and slightly annoyed that Paul Morley hadn't rung me personally to let me know. I set about finding out where else PROPAGANDA were playing. I did this using the wonderful conduit - portal - of LIVEMUSIC.FM - an online company which helps music fans find the best local concerts and the cheapest tickets online. I found out with just a simple click that PROPAGANDA were playing 56 dates. Wow! And all at O2 Academy venues. But of course PROPAGANDA haven't reformed Doc! And PROPAGANDA aren't on a 56 date tour either! PROPAGANDA is simply the name of the THE UK's BIGGEST INDIE NIGHT! The DICKS at LIVEMUSIC.FM - an online company which helps music fans find the best local concerts and the cheapest tickets online; have simply put 2 and 2 together and made a Renault Twingo. And this is why I know I'm living in the age of the idiot Doc. 1 million satellite channels, 2 million radio stations, 20 million servers worldwide all spewing out bollo. Bollo up North Bollo down south, Bollo in the East, Bollo in the West. I'm drowning in bollo Doc. I'm being battered down by oodles of boundless banality beamed out by brainless bods!"

There then followed a moment of silence which lasted 15 minutes and 83 seconds. You could have neard a Borrowers or Land of the Giants sized pin drop. Finally I said. "See you next week Doc." And left.


So please, someone enlighten LIVEMUSIC.FM - an online company which helps music fans find the best local concerts and the cheapest tickets online - cos Samaritans say it's outside their remit!