Heart of a Punk Soul of a Rasta

The 2009 Sound Bite

John: OK Ed it's that time again when those auto-suggestive Pavlov's dog merchants in the music press do their horrible worst.

Ed: Yeah during January the music papers have been busying themselves urgently and condescendingly trying to telling us what happened last year and what in their esteemed opinion was worthy of note.

John: Every year it's the same shit, they never seem to get it! Good music lives, bad music burns, irrespective!

Ed: Yes Sir. Of course this year it's doubly horrid because they've also been telling us what happened in the last decade (and all).

John: Yep this annual and decadal rigmarole is all very "nice" for those who weren't out in the last decade due to a miscarriage of injustice, or for those who suffered a memory sapping head injury. But other than that, this reflective navel gazing is a load of old BOLLOCKS!.

Ed: Yes thanks John, I've stuck in a cutting below from the highly celebrated "SCENE" magazine (snigger). It shows their "09's Top 10" and is as predictably facile as it is stereotypically banal - but at least they're not alone. However I'm a tad confused cos for those of you who haven't quite twigged yet "Glasvegas" by Glasvegas might well have been one of the best albums of 2008 (since it was released in September 2008) but surely it couldn't have been one of the best albums of 2009. Could it John?

John: Errrr?

Ed: Look call me Germanic and anal....

John: You're Germanic and anal, you prick.

Thanks.....but surely this isn't too hard an exercise. Get a list of records released in 2009 stick a pin in ten of them, how can they get that wrong? Thank fuck these music dicks aren't in control of life threatening machinery or doing brain surgery on your Auntie Brenda cos they can't even do the simplest task in anything other than a half arsed fashion. Admit it SCENE you just jotted down a few names from the list of Mercury Prize nominees and then forgot to check the release dates didn't you?!!!!!




Ed: But hey, perhaps they didn't get it wrong, perhaps it's not a prerequisite for an album in the "09's Top 10" to have actually been released in 09. Yes that must be it how silly of me. So if you can't beat em join em -- here are my "09's Top 10".

1. JS Bach - St Mathews Passion
2. Gustav Mahler - Symphony No. 2 The Resurrection
3. JS Bach - St John's Passion
4. Anton Bruckner - Mass in D Minor
5. Malcolm Arnold - Symphony No. 8 Op.124
6. Faure - Requiem
7. Avro Part - Miserere
8. Alban Berg - Violin Concerto
9. Lili Boulanger - Faust et Helene
10. Gustav Mahler - Symphony No. 5

John: Wait aminute do you really like this music Ed? Because if you do, this FANZINE ends here! Well? Do you?
......and didn't Morrissey do a cover of that "Miserere" shit?